It happens, there you are with a mouth full of saucy meatballs at a mutual friend’s holiday party and your ex (or expired situationship) walks in. You haven’t really spoken besides the occasional like on Instagram and the terms of your break up were less than desirable. AWKWARD, but what do you do? How should you act? Here’s a completely self-servicing list of how to handle those EXciting run-ins you may have this Holiday season.
Why Does it Happen?
Let’s face it, breakups are messy. Sometimes you both will not only share mutual friends, favorite coffee locations but also family. Yes…family, but not in the weird you both were distant cousins way. More like, someone from his side married/dates someone from your side and now even though you’re not together and happy; you’re still a part of a big, happy family. True story btw. Sometimes running into each other is inevitable but it also can be an opportunity to gain closure or even rekindle.
White Flag Waves
So, boom your back is turned as you’re talking to so so about the recipe for those meatballs and they walk in. You know this because so so’s eyes expand like puss n boots as they give you the tell-tale look of “OMGGIRLYOUREXISHERE.” You decide to play it cool but how?
The Head Wave
Making slight eye contact with the ex across the room, then lifting your chin up in a sort of head-bob-nod to acknowledge their presence says “Hey, I see you over there and I’m not mad about you wasting my time.” It’s not as welcoming as a wave but still an effective way to call a truce.
The Hand up
Again, make eye contact with the ex across the room, lift the hand not holding the wine glass you undoubtedly ran for when you heard his name. You don’t actually have to move the hand side-to-side but do a lift and drop. This says “Hey, what’s up,” and is more welcoming than the head nod but still not an open invitation back into your good graces. It’s simple, friendly but not particularly warm.
The Linger Wave
Ahhhh, the linger wave is the one you pull out when you’re not completely over your ex and you want to get a feel for if it’s mutual. Across the room you lock in on their gaze, slowly lift your hand while adding a slight smile and you don’t back down until interrupted. This wave is serious business as it says, “I miss you.” NEVER pull this one out unless you’re completely sure you want back in.
Look Who’s Talking
Strategy does change whenever a conversation is sure to happen. Depending on your breakup or breakout circumstances your response to “So, how have you been?” may vary but you never want to ruin a perfectly good Holiday party even if Rochelle’s karaoke singing voice is making it not so great. Here are three ways you can handle your conversation with an ex.
Beauty and the brief
EX: “How have you been?”
You: “Good, You?”
EX: “Can’t complain”
EX: “I miss..”
You: Exiting stage wherever.
The “I’m Actually Over You”
When they ask you about your life, engage in conversation with them. Highlight all the wonderful things that you’ve been able to accomplish now that you are mentally and emotionally free of the relationship. Petty? No. It’s simple showcasing of the fact that you or they made the right decision to part ways and that decision will continue to be upheld.
“You’re Like, Really Pretty”
AKA the “please give us another shot” is included with intense eye contact, insatiable giggling and love taps. Asking about specific things you remember from your time together and showing that you still have a vested interest in this person’s interests is one way you can show you’re all in.
DISCLAIMER: These tips are in no way exclusive and may yield various reactions. Let’s Build is not responsible for accidental reignited relationships. Symptoms of these tips may include accusations of the cold shoulder, rejection, or loss of holiday cheer.
Got any great tips for EXciting run-ins? Comment below and Let’s continue to Build a great list!