Anxiety New year

Bad Year, New Year

Around the world many people are gearing up for the pending new year. They have their sparkling outfits hanging up in the closest, made plans to kiss when the ball drops and feel a sense of either security or excitement for what their future holds. I was that person last year, and the year before and all the New Years before up until the ones I was too young to remember.

This year I have a sparkly outfit prepared, and I know exactly who I will kiss when the clock strikes 12 but instead of excitement for the New Year, it’s a crushing anxiety that I’ve been feeling. New Years are supposed to be about fresh starts, opportunities and possibilities; Oddly enough it’s those very possibilities that scare me. The next opportunity to be hurt, disappointed. To be sued or disrespected at work. The next opportunity to fail. The rational me knows that the concept of time is relative; New Year’s exist only because we say they do. We count our lives by seasons and hope that when our world stops spinning that time won’t erase us.

I know the idea of a fresh start in the New Year is societal but the sheer collective energy centered on that idea makes it real. And for me it makes it scary. If you take the time to flip through the Let’s Build catalog you’ll see multiple lessons learned last year from the very worse possibilities a year can provide. And quite poetically that year started not long after the New Year’s champagne left my lips in February and progressed until it very nearly defeated me in September. What is there to do when you’re blessed to see another year but not particularly looking forward to it? What makes you look forward to a New Year after a painful one? I went on a hunt to find the answer and in the process worked through my own complicated feelings about 2018-2019.

 

 

Fresh Start

All of society is hitting the reset button so while you could start over at any time during the year; it should be noted that there is a real relationship between your desire to wipe the slate and many things working in your favor to do so. At the top of the list for most people I asked was the fresh start that they felt they’d be given. A fresh start isn’t the same thing as a clean slate but rather a beginning of a new chapter while taking the knowledge of all the old chapters along with you.

Woman Wearing White Sleeveless Lace Shirt

For a newly single mother the idea of a fresh start in a New Year could mean entering 12 more months with the realization that she is doing it on her own and the freedom to do it her way. For someone struggling with health it is a fresh start at new methods, and doctors; the possibility for solid answers. It’s the hope that whispers “this year is the year I feel like myself again.”

My fresh start are new ways to improve at work and cope with stress; it’s trusting in the beauty of life again and not just the pain. The idea that it is possible that I could make 2019 one of the best and trans-formative years of my life. It’s the hope for more laughs than tears and more love-making than arguments. 2019 is the chance to love myself completely while discovering the depths this world has to offer. If I focus on all the dark thoughts then I leave little room for the light in my life. So I choose to hold the old year up to light and examine it; extract what I can and let the rest fall away like ash. Allowing the New Year to resurrect my hope and faith of something more like a phoenix.

 

sparkle

 

Hope and Faith

At the end of it all a New Year is about hope and faith, because you don’t know what lies before you. One wise woman said, “I look forward to a New Year because I get to try again; I get to keep trying. The fact that I’ve been blessed to see another year means I have a mission/purpose I need to fulfill and I have a greater responsibility to get things accomplished because of that.” Regardless of if you’re ready or not you’ll be plunged deep into 365 brand new days. Realistic enough to know they won’t all be sunny but praying that there won’t be too much rain because you have shit you want to do that doesn’t include dark clouds.

 

The New Boo

Entering a New Year after a rough one is much like starting a new relationship after a horrible ex; you can’t enter with chipped shoulders and expectations of a painful ending. You have to allow the New Year to show you who it is while putting in real work of your own to make the relationship work each day. So 2018 hurt you…2019 is a totally different span of time that requires you to give it the love, attention and respect you have always given each New Year. Don’t drag your baggage across your fresh start like leaky trash on white tile. Double bag your shit and move forward because life is going to move regardless. Move with it and build back the trust you had for wonderful possibilities and exciting New years. Happy New Year!

 

What are you look forward to the Most this New Year Builders? Comment Below and Let’s Talk!

 

Green Leafed Plant on Sand

One comment

  1. The whole truth and nothing but the truth! Inspiration and truth at its finest! 2019, here I am. So let’s see what you’ve got because I’m laying all my cards out on the table this year and making moves to the sound of my own beat. Let’s go!

    Liked by 1 person

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