“This is for all the women who work with men that have egos bigger than their actions” -LETS BUILD
You clock in everyday ready to work. You’ve passed the stage where you want to prove yourself. Instead, you give yourself little speeches and pep talks to get you through an environment that is reluctant to make room for you. “You got this shit girl.” “You are so awesome, look what you created.” ‘Don’t let them see your weakness.” and my personal favorite “Calm down, don’t curse his ass out and lower your crown.”
In the mirror like…
The mental mantra we have to say each day just to make it through is insane and totally badass. While juggling the duties of your job you simultaneously juggle all the emotions that come with sexism in the workplace. You check anger and only assert yourself when necessary to get the job done. But you’re no wallflower and definitely nobody’s pushover so some days you go home a little defeated, exhausted and unappreciated.
This is for you girl, whether you are a working mom/wife or single woman navigated the treacherous rounds of “the boys club” everyday. NEVER feel alone. Know there’s some woman across the world showing up for work prepared to defend her brilliant ideas, prepared to make her face stone when interrupted; Prepared to work 10 times as hard as her male counterparts for less. Here’s the truth, as a vibrant and black alpha female, I’ve experienced more sexism in my life than racism. Or at least the sexism is more overtly identified. And it rears its true colors like no other in the workforce. So, this is for all the women who work with men that have egos bigger than their actions.
Here he goes again. You just pitched or implemented another idea that you know is great. It improves areas addressed and even some unaddressed but he can’t take you having the spotlight; in fact, he’s the guy that never offers any suggestions or puts things into action but criticises every chance he gets. Now you have to decide whether to call him out on it or deflect for the sake of your sanity and the room. You know tit for tat never gets you anywhere. On good days it rolls off your back like water but on the not-so-hot days your right eyebrow goes up and before you know it your mouth has fired back defending your honor.
You don’t mind criticism when it’s constructive but Mondays filled with the unconstructive types are a bit much to ask of anyone. You hesitate to ask for help, because the condescending comments make your head ache and you question whether something is important enough to hamster wheel a conversation into motion. Yet, you voice your opinions, offer help and even improve things for the next woman to walk the halls of this boys club.
Working with Kanye’s Ego
Confidence goes a lonnnngg way and sometimes, that shit gets in the way. YOU, my darling, are knocked down a few pegs regardless of if you do right or wrong; being confident in yourself at work is a never-ending fight. Your male coworkers; however, have a separate issue. Many of them are praised regardless of their right or wrong and this feeds into not only their individual egos but the collective male egos that looms over your desk bragging about the latest whatever hoping to coax a compliant from you. YOU AIN’T GOT THE TIME. You don’t feed the egos that hover around you like aggressive ducks at a public park.
You don’t slap ass and say job well done. You only give credit when due and encouragement when needed; nothing more, nothing less. And you stand out from the BOYS club because of it.
65 Percent Annoyed
It isn’t just that we’re paid less because sometimes the pay scale is already set; the other issues are we get 65% of attention when we speak, 65% chance that credit and appreciation is given when due, 65% chance that someone will interrupt your valid point; 65% respected, 65% understanding when you make a mistake like any normal human; 65% chance of being taught something you don’t know with a condescending undertone; 65% chance that there’s an expectation put on you as a woman that’s not forced on your male coworkers like desk/computer work; 65% chance that even those who you considered male friends aren’t your allies in the workplace (If your allies aren’t willing to get tagged in the ring on your behalf then you should deeply consider if it’s worth doing it on theirs.) 65% chance that you have to deal with all this even outside of work, 65% chance that you will be dismissed when you bring up an issue; and a 100% possibility that your male counterparts will be the culprits that engage in, perpetuate, and don’t have to deal with all of these realities.
“The sexist part of sexism is that it breeds warriors from the adversity. Bad ass ones at that.”
Builders, Let’s Talk! What are some ways you combat sexism in the workplace? Comment and Share below.
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