Oh F*ck…I’m Depressed.

Situational depression can be a real B*%#! Seasonal Depression is a sometimey B^*#! PMDD is an annoying B%^+! Persistent Depression is a determined B&*%! Major Depression is the Biggest B*%^! I’ve experienced at least…

Wild: Asheville, NC Edition

"I used to have this appetite for food, for life? and it's just gone. I want to go someplace where I can marvel at something." Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth (Liz) Gilbert It's been a while since I've written about solo traveling mainly because…

Love Letter to Self

, ,
You are like water. You nurture. You cleanse. Many around you drink and thrive; while some drown. In your tides you learn and grow. Your biggest storms only revealed your greatest strengths. You are POWERFUL. Thanking God for the hard seasons because you crave growth. Wanting to see yourself clearly and in your reflection is proof that God so loved the world. How beautiful must God be if you are made in his image?

I’m not just your sounding board

Am I being listened to? I find myself pondering this concept while an ear that was supposed to be listening transformed into a mouth that won’t stop talking. Do we really desire to hear one another as strongly as we ourselves want to…

The Infamous Reputation of (Apology)

, , ,
Recently, I discovered how I've conditioned myself to forgive in the absence of an apology; sadly, I had begun to no longer expect one. We are really bad at apologizing , let alone, asking for forgiveness when we've wronged someone. We Lean into the thought that the imperfections in another cancels out the need for accountability on our part. We close our connections by simply walking away and thinking "oh well"...convincing ourselves that the other person overreacted. The blind spots in our self awareness comes into play with us avoiding accountability, indulging in our pride, and yes, upholding the fear of vulnerability.

Death to the ‘Good Guy’

,
It's a Performance. Death to the Good Girl was all about upholding a title that silently erased me as a woman. Many women and men alike could relate to the sentiment of behaving, speaking, and thinking a conformed way in order to embrace…

Imperfect Activism & the Age of Social Media

,
Whether you’re outraged or outraged about the outrage, plain ole confused...this post is for you. Imperfect Activism in the age of social media I'm writing this as a way to make sense of my own feelings about the state of the country right…

Why We NEED Lawrence on HBO’s Insecure

,
The dislike many of you feel for Lawrence stems for the real duality of his character. This idea that many men ruin women who want to believe in their potential by pure laziness. These character types usually go on and do better in the…

I Took a Vow of Silence for a day & it wasn’t as Easy as I Thought…

, ,
      The thought came in the shower; the birthplace of all great ideas. One of my bucket list dreams is to take a vow of silence for at least three months during my lifetime. I know that this is something that will have…

It’s a Shame

, ,
Remember that feeling you use to get in middle school. Constant anxiety of dressing the part, saying the right things, liking the right people. Fitting in and never drawing negative attention that would make you stand out? Remember when…

My Complicated Love Affair with Clothes

Some people dress to impress. I dress to reflect my energy; sometimes quite literally wearing my heart on my sleeve. Using clothes as an expression of myself is nothing new to me. I remember the days as a teen when I wore bright colors and…

You don’t like me & I’m OK with that

,
I started thinking about how jarring it is to discover that you’re disliked by someone. These days people don’t come out and say ”I don’t like you.” Well...that’s actually never been the case. Think about the southern charm insults…

The ONE That Got Away Pt. 2

, ,
For a while I found myself locked in a daydreamy memory of how the kisses felt when I was 16. How intoxicating lovemaking was when I was 19; and how intense being inlove had been with the past love of my life. Some strange affliction had befallen…

Closed Doors Don’t Get Fed: a talk of closure and the one that got away pt. 1

,
Lack of closure feels like you’re standing at a door waiting for the other person to open it. This leds us to think that real closure is a myth; I’ve come to believe that’s not entirely true. Real closure is a little messy...it’s not…

Damsel & the Dominant

, ,
  LBF Dominant Definition: Taking charge of yo shit; being able to perform without excessive guidance, teaching, or hand holding in love, finance, and life. In general, being a developed adult who can share “control” “power” within…

The Complaint Drug

, ,
"My job better hope I never win the lottery, or I'm OUT!" and in truth they better hope I never win the lottery...(I don't even play) But there's so many things I'm blessed with when it comes to my career. A point I missed often in this last…

Othello & the Pink

There’s a chip in the wall opposite my bed. Many small beauty marks such as this decorate the walls of my bedroom. This particular chip has a pinkish hue underneath the vanilla cream paint. I’ve spent hours staring at it in the dull light…

NOBODY’S F*CKIN MAYBE

, ,
The first maybe I allowed in my life was at 15. I let an ex use a maybe like a semi-colon. Pausing our relationship but not our love. He was convinced that in that moment in time he couldn’t give me what I needed, wanted, or deserved. Maybe…

Death to the “Good Girl”

, ,
I was "good," I was really good.  I didn't raise my voice too loud or ask too many questions. I didn't probe or pry even when my curiosity wanted just a taste of the truth. I was always nurturing. Always ready to fix the broken thing. My flat…

Sex is NOT a Therapist

, ,
Great sex after a hard day is indescribably wonderful.   There are so many mental, emotional, and physical benefits to shaking the sheets like lowered stress levels, improved job/life satisfaction, even headache relief. We could talk…

Picture Imperfect

, ,
  Sometimes it’s just really good to feel yourself *cues Beyonce.* I never thought I was photogenic. Largely, the idea of me being beautiful was a one-sided opinion made by yours truly. Then slowly, how I saw myself changed more and…

Kill the Messenger and the Message

Somebody, please go gather Unc Snoop and his bonnet to get him together because this ain't it. Excuse my ebonics while I dive into this post.   ... *Stares in black girl annoyance* ... Fuck that, I'm offended. I'm offended on…

The Secret Meaning of Words

,
  “Actions speak louder than words..” And often, they do but nothing in this world articulates, defines, explains, and clarifies quite like words. Words, whether spoken or written, are important. Steamy romance books. Hearing your…

Let’s Get Uncomfortable

, ,
My greatest moments were born from my greatest discomforts. I’ve been pushed, pulled, and dragged into situations that I felt ill-prepared for and totally blindsided by; yet it’s those moments where I had to dig deep within myself that…

The WET Season

,
Phone wet. Lips & elbows moisturized. Curls Juicy. DMs Drippin'. The next hurricane should be named "Krystal" The only things dry are my eyes.   In the DRY Season, I went through a drought in the dating world which allowed me…

Alpha Female Blues

, ,
What I’ve discovered in my 28 years of life is that being head bitch doesn’t necessarily go to the female that’s the loudest or most charismatic. I should know. I’m a socially awkward introvert who has a knack for being assertive and…

Ode to Self Care

, ,
100 percent. Everyone wants 100 percent of you. Your job demands 100 percent, your bae, your kids, your friend that keeps calling and crying about the same guy she said she was gonna leave three calls ago. They want your undivided attention,…

The REAL Investments in Life

, ,
  This past weekend I surprised my best friend with things I thought would be helpful in encouraging her on her journey as a massage therapist. While she was away on training for two weeks I planned, schemed and organized a shelf in her…

The DRY Season

, ,
Phone dry. Lips dry. DMs dry. Dry. Dry. Dry.   While everyone is out having a "Hot Girl Summer" my room temperature summer only heats up when I step outside and burst into flames at the actual 104 temperature. I am in a DRY season but…

Sweep ‘Round Your Door FIRST Sis

, ,
Sis; (n) A person that needs to hear some real shit. There's an old country saying that lies deep within the black community. "Sweep 'round yo door first, before you try to sweep 'round mine."   I can still smell grandma's fire engine…

The Bitter Taste Of Lemons

,
I know Beyonce would have me make lemonade but honey, right now I can't even find the pitcher. The thought of making lemonade from the lemons life gives you is a lovely one but we often forget that it's an actual process. The message is always…

Single, F*** the Mingle

Grab a fresh pack of batteries girls, I'm single. I know; I heard the collective gasp when you read the title but it's true. I have been flung like a loose booger back into singledom and I wasn't as prepared as I had previously hyped myself…

Love Letter to Self

You had nights when you just wanted to hear how important you were without having to ask. Days where getting a text about how much you were loved and missed would’ve changed your whole mood. You desire someone who’s willing to take charge…

65 Cents on the Dollar

, ,
"This is for all the women who work with men that have egos bigger than their actions” -LETS BUILD Mental MantraYou clock in everyday ready to work. You've passed the stage where you want to prove yourself. Instead, you give yourself little…

Burnout to a Crisp

, ,
It’s 7:05 am and my alarm sounds. Every morning I fight the urge to throw it, I knew it was coming. I knew because I became conscious 20 minutes earlier but kept my eyes closed. I knew that opening them meant starting a new day at a job I…

Bad Year, New Year

Around the world many people are gearing up for the pending new year. They have their sparkling outfits hanging up in the closest, made plans to kiss when the ball drops and feel a sense of either security or excitement for what their future…

What to do with EXciting Run-ins for the Holidays

, ,
It happens, there you are with a mouth full of saucy meatballs at a mutual friend's holiday party and your ex (or expired situationship) walks in. You haven't really spoken besides the occasional like on Instagram and the terms of your break…

WILD: NEW YORK EDITION

, ,
I watched the movie Wild (yes, I'm the movie not the book) after I lost him. Uninterested in everything, I aimlessly scrolled through movie selections on my fire stick desperately trying to find something, anything to distract me from how I…

In High Pursuit (Chasing the Pull Vol. 2)

,
There is something that drives and motivates each of us in life. We may know what lies underneath our pull toward a purpose designed specifically for us or we may just make the conscious decision to chase after the pull on our lives - Knowing…

The Danger of “Doing White People Sh*t”

, ,
I'm called a free spirit...a hippie; which are declarations proclaimed on the heels of what many of my chocolate dusted friends call "doing white people shit." Let me explain... When it comes to activities that are involved in nature many of…

Guide to Surviving the Family Cookout

,
By now you’ve probably been to countless cookouts and family gatherings since Memorial Day; but everyone knows that August is not only the hottest month in the summer, it’s also the month where navigating the cookout becomes a skill you…

The “Right” Kind of Woman

,
  I can't braid and still haven't found the right shade of foundation to paint on my two toned face. And I like my hands dirty sometimes, motor oil and sweat mixed instead of a day spent behind the desk. I'm flat chested with just a suggestion…

Yes, You’re a Writer

,
Admit it! You're a writer! You scribble notes of topic ideas and amazing opening sentences on the back of old greasy napkins or anything you can find so you won't forget it. You have at least three different rough drafts ideas sitting right…

Press Play on that Podcast

,
For the past two months I have rejected making musical selections in the commute to work or home and instead opt to listen to various podcasts. My love for podcasts has grown so intense that in order to make it out of bed in the morning I must…

Dancing in the ‘Sun’shine Blogger Award

,
Being nominated by Scribbles & Tostitos for this award is the equivalent of  being given a mixed icy snow cone after being in the sun all day; it's refreshing. While my work life has changed and I attempt to find a new balance that includes…

What the (Mental) Health?!

, , ,
Hey Builders, Issa BONUS POST! In honor of celebrating the end of National Mental Health Awareness Month, I would like to share all the things I've discovered after completing my first round of counseling sessions earlier this May. Mental health…

Chasing the Pull

Chasing The Pull is NOT like chasing a dream, it's different. The Pull is intangible, invisible and sometimes incredibly frustrating. Imagine an invisible rope being lassoed around you, at moments in your life that rope is slack and you're able to maneuver around and enjoy your day-to-day. In seasons of transition, the rope is taut, it pulls you out of your complacency and makes you uncomfortable. It tugs on you to leave where you were to follow something you can't even see and have only begun to understand. That's the pull.

How to leave the Job you LOVE for the Job you NEED

, , ,
If you've been reading Let's Build for a while you know that changing jobs is as common as changing panties for me; but that doesn't always mean it's easy. Yet, having the right job for the reality of your life is an important tool for building…

Cocktails, Labels & the Sunken Place

, ,
My generation is a fan of the labels or labeling something non label-able. I thought I was never a part of the club. Now, I’m not so sure that I’m not the president with all the rotating labels I had for myself cataloged alphabetically and…

She’s Making a List: The DGGYST Challenge

, ,
One of my favorite blogs, DAMN GIRL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER or DGGYST, just returned from her hiatus with nothing less than a stellar post. It asks readers to take an inventory of the things they've accomplished in their life thus far. The brilliant…