Come close.


I am about to give you top secretedy, secret information about the truth of balancing the Army reserves and civilian life.

You’ve seen the commercials that make you want to fist pump and high five yourself because America is amazing.

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Land of the free and home of the bad-asses that protect us.

(At least that’s how the commercial makes you feel anyway)

Then the screen flashes and you see ARMY RESERVES in golden letters calling out for you to take action. Be a boss in your civilian life with transferable skills AND a top notch Soldier when duty calls. It’s as easy as a light switch. Turning on one aspect of your life and switching off the other. They don’t tell you that sometimes it’s a melting pot mess if you’re not careful; even for the anally organized and professional like myself.

Instead you get fed this image



But what about the cut scene of your boss sighing loudly in a “What the f*** you have another three day drill weekend in the middle of our busiest season!” kinda way?

Here’s the truth about balancing life as a Solider and a civilian from my own experiences and others I’ve been privy to. This  is what your recruiter won’t tell you but what you should know before making the decision to sign on the dotted line.


Your boss can’t fire you so suck it up.

It’s true. After being given your drill schedule which usually (I use that term loosely hence the italics) consists of a weekend once a month and a separate full two weeks out the year; your boss cannot fire you for fulfilling your military obligations when called to duty. Even if you’re gone for two years and up to five years. This includes any orders or active duty time that you may get selected for whether voluntary or involuntary.

The fine line with this is that if you have a spiteful boss they can make your work environment uncomfortable, stressful or plain out unbearable. If you can prove this then there are actions you can take to protect yourself under federal regulations that can be better explained with these links:

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However, if I have to force a boss to treat me fairly then I would think that makes a hostile work environment in and of itself. Just saying.

Not to mention the schedule when it comes to being a full time student. You have to take into account that most professors will work with you to help curve any time you miss; however, in an increasingly demanding year you could miss anywhere from a week to almost a month of school in the start of the semester and if you have a professor who’s an ass then that’s a recipe for a disaster. Schools really aren’t required to look out for part-time Soliders.

In being open with expectations and issues with your employers and professors beforehand, also talking with college administration, you can curb some of these issues.


Sometimes you can’t be Mary Jane

Yes seriously. For all the reasons discussed above sometimes it will be difficult to give to your civilian job in ways that could help you advance at a faster rate. And vice versa. Balancing your schedule often requires you to shift or cancel things you may have planned in the civilian world based on your military needs. Fulfilling obligations on both sides could leave you in a gray area professionally if you’re not actively paying attention.


It pays for school…kinda.

When you’re in your enlisting process you must make sure you get the Montegormy G.I. bill put into your contract before signing your life over. Otherwise, you’re just out of luck. Some recruiters will take the time to explain this to you. Others not so much. I was lucky to have a decent recruiter.

Still, in the terms of hearing “it will pay for school” you will think that comes with a heafty check to the school you’ll be attending. Instead it comes in monthly payments made to you for about $500 to $700 depending on your contract.

You will hear terms like “Kicker” or “ROTC program money” my suggestion is get a good understanding of what financial benefits you’ll actually be getting because after you sign everyone will just assume you know.

There is also something called tuition assistance that can be paired with your scholarships, grants, and G.I. Bill and if used correctly you could graduate with virtually no debt. Oh how I wish someone would’ve told me these things. You’re welcome by the way. At this point it should go without saying that you should definitely read the fine print before signing. Because once it’s signed that’s it; no going back to get extra benefits.


 What YOU time?

Your administrators, unit, and superiors expect you to be all that you can be and EVERYTHING else. This includes taking care of military assignments, classes, appointments, staying physically fit etc…much of it on your civilian time. To compound this, your boss will likey expect the same treatment (rightfully so) this can translate into, as I stated in a previous post, this…

110 % to civilian job

110% to military job

40% to family and friends (because you have to fit them in somehow)

and very little, time or energy left over to yourself without some serious organizational planning skills.

I’m not at all saying that there will be no time for yourself and personal goals but you will be in a unique situation where you are expected to perform at 100% from your civilian job and especially for your military job. Make sure that you are planning time to prioritize yourself as well as your jobs.



I tell people all the time that me and Uncle Sam have a love/hate relationship when they ask about my military career. It is the most honest representation I could say. Most people have this glorified sense of the military and in some ways it’s justified; not many people are willing to sign over their time (the most precious commodity) to a government with mixed reviews.


Regardless of your personal opinion, that in itself is pretty brave. But the truth is being part-time military is in many ways just like any other job with its high points and low points. You are expected to perform specific tasks as an individual and a team player. Often there’s organizational issues,

disagreements, celebrations, and everything else you would find at your normal 9 to 5. Don’t let the stigma of “military” fool you into thinking you can’t provide what is needed to be a Soldier.



Some people get confused over what the National Guard is compared to the Reserves. The biggest difference is that the National Guard is sorta like a militia for each state. This is where most of there funding comes from and if something like a natural disaster effects that states those are the Soliders you see as responders. Reservists are funded federally. We both have pretty much the same one weekend a month, two weeks out the year obligations. Other branches such as the Air Force and navy offer part time contracts as well. Don’t be afraid to ask or accept a bonus. No you won’t get screamed at every day in training and Yes, it was worth it.


My truth

I made many important milestones as an adult as a result of being a Soldier. I wouldn’t trade the experience, growth or financial advancements it has afforded me for anything. I had specific reasons on why I joined that has kept me focused on my military journey. Still, I made mistakes due to ignorance of my benefits and rights; had I’d known much of the information above I could’ve enjoyed an even better experience as a young professional and a Soldier. I hope these truths help you in some way. For questions, comment or email me and #LetsBuild

I could’ve been mistaken for a divorcee soccer mom with a habit of drinking too much wine before 12 p.m. I felt as though I was completely lost in life, not knowing what purpose I was to serve, what talents I had and confused on why it was taking so long to get on my feet after years of hard work. I was barely 25 going through a mid-life crisis  quarter-life crisis.

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GIPHY:  Me. Any Monday morning two years ago

As millennials, we get called all kinds of bad names by the “grown-ups” like dramatic, lazy or self-centered but the reality is that a lot of the economic, mental, and financial stress we face has a negative impact on us getting a healthy start to adult life.

After pursuing higher education and working multiple jobs just to still break even, success whether financial or otherwise can feel like…it can feel like…Well. Like this…



GIPHY: That oh shit wtf is going on moment


It can often feel as though if you don’t have everything figured out by the time you’re 18 then you’re behind the curve. But who the hell knows exactly what they want and how to get there at 18? (very few)

This inadvertent pressure put on us by societal expectations, competition mentality coupled with no real mentors leaves many young adults reeling from the lies they’ve been told.

“Go to school to get a good job and make good money,” THEY SAID

They didn’t tell us about the hurdles that exist in attempting to escape generational poverty/low-income households, obstacles millennials are facing in the job market due to the previous recession, or the other important things like how to network, team up or seek mentorship etc…

This leaves us feeling like failures and frustrated with ourselves in a world that doesn’t understand why we feel like we have it hard.

I use to stay in my room (I had moved back in with the parentals) drink wine, binge on Netflix and hiss at anyone who dared to knock on my door. I was a regular Scrooge in the middle of July.

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Safe to say that this was not healthy. Job hunts went from confident searches to desperate obsessions and it felt like a chore to even get out of bed most days.

For those of you who can relate, here are a few tips to getting back to being yourself so that you can ring in the new year with a better understanding of where you’ve been and how to move on from there. Kick this quarter-life crisis’ a**!

Tip #1

Put the drink (dank) or whatever down.

Some days it’s the only thing that felt like it alleviated the anxiety and depression but trust me you don’t want to become reliant on substances in dealing with difficult emotions. Find another outlet like taking a walk. Sunshine can make a world of difference as opposed to day-drinking in a dark room alone. Plus a bottle a day gets kinda pricey.


Tip #2

Make a real plan.

When you’re lost it can feel like no plan makes sense but it’s dangerous to not have an idea of who you are and what you want. One of the things that helped me was making a list (and checking it twice hahaha).

I made a list of everything from my perceived strengths and weaknesses to what I wanted and needed out of life in order to consider myself successful. I went from not knowing what I wanted, to one day realizing that I could keep others from dealing with similar downfalls by starting a mentoring program.

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Tip #3

Don’t sell yourself short.

Don’t become so engrossed in getting a job or man or whatever that you aren’t paying attention to the quality and compatibility while in your search. Case and point? I was so shook by not having jobs lined up for me after returning home that I just started putting applications in for every job posting I saw.

The result?

I got into a job (s) that made my quarter-life crisis worst due to their incompatibility with what I wanted and was capable of providing.

Understand you’re still valuable regardless of where you are at this point in your life to avoid getting into situations that negatively affect you because you sold yourself short.

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Tip #4

It’s not just you.

I’m “a pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kinda girl or at least I was until I realized that I didn’t have any f****** boots to begin with!

When we’re down in the dumps it’s easy to be your toughest critic or downright self enemy but sometimes it’s because we had unrealistic expectations without understanding that the starting line was pushed back farther from our peers.

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In acknowledging your obstacles, you can empower yourself with knowledge and goals to overcome them. My situation was a 50/50 split. I had things I could have done differently and difficulties based on my circumstances that were never brought to my attention. It’s okay to fall but don’t let you or anything else keep you down.

Last thing.

It’s called quarter-life crisis for a reason. Apparently the feeling is not just exclusive to you or I but shared with some of our millennial kin. You will come out the other side with a new understanding of yourself and the world around you.

When I think back to the ghost of my quarter-life crises past, I do so with a respect for that moment in my life. It helped me to figure out where I went wrong and where society went wrong to have so many millennials experiencing this same thing. I needed to endure that time in my life in order to figure out myself, my life and my purpose.

So, get fresh air, scream in your pillow and know that you’ll be alright. #LETSBUILD

P.S. stop hissing at your loved ones. SORRY MOM!



PSST! check out this article on quarter life crisis


Someone or something told me dreams were not for me. Dreams were for the smart or the rich or the lucky; but they were not meant for someone from my background with my skin color. This is true for many underprivileged children. Many of them share the same sentiment without ever realizing it. Dreaming and setting goals can be the difference that changes one’s circumstances from “just getting by” to “flourishing.”

Unfortunately, children from low income homes find it hard to dream past their circumstances; often feeling hopeless in the face of others older and wiser than they having never overcome financial or educational struggles.



I was 20 before I held my first dream like a precious egg; I was afraid it would break if I neglected it. So I nurtured it as much as I could and fed that dream until it hatched. Eventually, that dream birthed more dreams for me to mother. Up until that point I had made goals for myself that I achieved but to dream was out of the question for me. While setting goals and achieving them is great, a dream transcends you mentally, emotionally, and many times, financially.

A dream is what stirs your passion and gives you butterflies. It’s sad that so many children today will choose only to pursue goals because they view dreams as a luxury. The difference of a goal and a dream is as simple as this:

21 year old Miya comes for a household where income is low. She decided against college because of the cost and set a goal to get her certification as a hair stylist because she loves doing hair and interacting with women. She is eager to earn money to support herself and help her household. This mentality will be how she earns a living for the next 20 years.

as opposed to

21 year old Miya decided to get her certification as a hair stylist and take business classes at her local community college so that she could eventually open up her own salon. She saw spending money to take classes and getting her certification as an investment to her future. Within 20 years she has 2 hair salons, 14 employees and lives a comfortable upper class lifestyle. She is better able to help her family.

In the first example Miya has set a wonderful goal to become a stylist based off of what she loves to do and the immediate financial need of her family. In the second example Miya actively works toward her dream by taking the necessary steps to get there. The second example isn’t likely to happen without emotional mentoring in the form of encouragement.

Too often we allow our own negative life experiences to seep into the advice we give our youth. “That’s too big a dream, aim for something realistic.” We say this in our own paraphrases without understanding the impact it has. Miya likely had someone encourage her dreams and that helped to give her confidence in pursuing them. But how do you do that?


How do you dream when you can’t see past your circumstance?

One of the important things I’ve learned is, in order to break down the mental barriers of low income children you must expose them to environments that stimulate their mind and expand their world view. Although I was heavily affected by my circumstances in the teen years of my life, I can attribute my creativity, curiosity, and thirst for knowledge to my childhood. Watching history documentaries or nature shows with my dad for hours expanded my world to places outside of our tiny walls.

Constantly wanting to learn more, being equipped with 9,999 fun facts and being a general nerd has all steamed from him. Watching my mother and sisters create from their own imagination, bringing their passions to physical forms spurred me to play with my personal creativity. Children who are given an alternative way of seeing the world, free from the eyes of financial stress, are better able to dream past their circumstance.


It is hard to dream something you’ve never seen.

That’s why connecting children with a mentor can improve the way they view the world and most importantly, change the way they view themselves. Seeing someone living well who shares similar background baggage or physical attributes helps children envision themselves living well, accomplishing the “impossible” and conquering dreams. REPRESENTATION ABSOLUTELY MATTERS! In saying, “If she can make it, then so can I” a child is empowering themselves and establishing that they want more out of life.

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Wanting MORE is not a crime

Dreaming bigger than what you’ve personally seen accomplished can feel like a betrayal to those closest to you. It can feel like saying “The way we live isn’t good enough for me.” It can feel like you’re slapping your hard working mother/father in the face.

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The truth is that unless we live a dream realized then we all want more. Some of us just forget that. Even our parents or idols.

Another issue is that not everyone dreams the same. Your MORE may not look like my MORE. My more right now is having a successful mentoring program and middle class lifestyle while my boyfriend’s more comes equipped with extra zeros in his bank account. Similarly, I had completely stressed myself out a while ago wanting more for my mother.

She’s amazing and I think she deserves all the gold in the world. One day in her office at school I asked her “Ma, what did you always want to be or dream about being when you were my age?” I thought she was going to give me some off the wall response like a Hollywood actress, world renowned chef or something. Instead, she peaked at me from the top of her reading glasses and said “I love what I do now. I feed people and get to decorate and be myself. My greatest dream was to be a better mother than I had so anything extra is a blessing.”

(Real tears) I was floored. Here I was wanting a dream for my mother that wasn’t even hers. Her MORE had already been realized through the reciprocated love of her daughters. So wanting more for yourself is nothing to shy away from. Everyone has a “MORE.”

Some people have achieved it and others are afraid to pursue it. Don’t allow worrying about how others view your pursuit of more to deter you from it. As long as you travel the path towards your dream with respect for your past and grace for your future, you will be alright.

To me dreaming doesn’t have to be outrageous. Dreaming for people from households that don’t encourage or talk about the future often involves achieving things that no one else in the family has.

A dream doesn’t have to be something utterly trivial like wanting to be a star NBA player or world renowned author. Most times it’s dreaming of being the first in your family to graduate from college, start a successful business, join the military, travel the world, own a home etc…

In having discussions with others about the difference between setting a goal and pursuing a dream I realized that many people consider dreams those things in our lives that live outside reality and thrive within the probability of winning the lottery. However, to me dreaming often is far smaller than that.

Dreams are linked to our passions, sometimes our talents. Dreams are those things that call out to us from a distance ahead; urging us to take action through pursuit. Our dreams make use restless.

I’m not saying encourage your 35 year old cousin to continue in his pursuit of being a rapper but do offer a healthy discussion about the future with your 16 year old niece who believes she wants to be a surgeon. Help her to envision her dream and find ways to actively go after it.


Dream complete

When I was graduating from High School I got asked, “So what are your plans after graduation?;” more times than I can count. No one asked this the other 3 years of my high school life and I honestly don’t think I was really asked that question after the age of 8 when the answers were cute. They included astronaut, policeman, and actress. Once I became older and the reality of adulthood was nye; it became a different ball game in which my answers were expected to be followed up by actions.


GIPHY: I virtually felt as though I was being thrown into the world of adults vulnerable and unprepared after graduation.

The problem was that since no one had really encouraged me to dream about my future, I didn’t. I was blindsided by the “what next” question that suddenly appeared in my senior year of high school so I only offered a response with no real follow through thinking. “So what are your plans after graduation?” I replied, “I’m going to school to become a psychologist.” Ha! I laugh at this now because man oh man was I clueless in what that pursuit really entailed. At the time it seemed like the best way to fulfill my need to help people.

The topic to dream complete means exactly what it says. Dreaming the process of the pursuit all the way through. Whenever you think about your dream you should make a plan on how to achieve it. Dreaming completely allows you to see your dream in it’s entirety and helps you make the decision on whether it’s really for you or not. Once I realized that I wanted to help people but I wasn’t willing to pursue a PH.D to do it; I changed my major to something more realistic. Encourage the youth, friends, and family in your life to dream complete.

This post in based on my views of what dreams and goals mean. What are YOUR thoughts? Comment below and let’s discuss. #LETSBUILD


I’m frugal AF. No. Seriously. Up until recently I had somehow convinced myself that I was perpetually broke and on the verge of being a forever broke. I was so into this mindset that eating out more than once a week was considered over splurging. I swear by Dollar Tree and I will ride my car until the last drop of gas. The reason?…I have what my male best friend hilariously named Post Traumatic Broke Syndrome or PTBS. I’m constantly afraid of going broke so I live as though I truly am.



When I was younger I didn’t have too much of a choice in the things I could purchase or do because I simply knew not to ask for them. Stress for bills was always present. It felt like there was never enough money for everything.

This was my first impression with money and so it was there that I developed a negative relationship with it.

I keep a tight grip on money like it’s a cheating, lying ass boyfriend that I can’t trust to stick around.


From that point on I became like Cory from That’s So Raven. I saved every bit of money I got and only spoke of it in hushed tones. Recently, my sister and I were having a conversation  in which I said, as I often do, “I’m broke.” she replied “You are not broke. You’re like one of those old women that buy the dented cans in the grocery store to save money but you’re secretly rich.” Funny enough, I couldn’t deny it. I learned that trick from my Grandma. Love you Grandma Rose!

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I have to really, really, REALLLLY want something priced $100+ dollars in order to buy it for myself and even though this has helped me grow my savings account; there are some drawbacks to thinking broke even when you’re not.

You don’t travel as much as you could because you’re stuck in the thinking that eating Ramen noodles and watching Netflix is cheaper than going out with friends. Now you’re missing out on great experiences, networking and fresh air because you didn’t want to spend a possible $50 even though you have plenty in the bank.

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When you don’t buy that one thing you really wanted in the store you obsess over it for weeks wishing you weren’t too cheap to buy it. When you finally decide to get it you can’t find the same style anywhere; now your only choice is a similar style that costs more.

(I truly hate it when that happens)

You may end up spending more buying the cheaper brands. IDK how many aux cords I’ve purchased from Dollar Tree. They work for a month and then give out. The ones at Walmart cost $10 and probably last far longer. Let’s face it…you just spent $10 anyway buying 10 cheap ones for $1 over the course of 10 months.

You miss out on great sales because you don’t buy in bulk. You buy only what you need. So you end up spending more because you could’ve caught the 3 for 2 sale and saved $2 but your tightfistedness decided to only buy the one thing you needed for less at the moment. Next month when that body wash runs out you’re gonna wish you brought that 3 pack for the price of two instead of just the one.

You obsess over money and bills unnecessarily even though you have enough; somehow it just never feels like enough. This puts a strain on you emotionally regardless of if you are financially sound. Plus, your cheap ass let’s everyone else pay for things you really want instead of treating yourself and others once in a while.




While being money conscious definitely has it’s place so does spending. I’m recently learning that being thrifty and being tightfisted are two different things. I love that I price compare when I’m shopping for groceries or clothes. It helps me save and not over spend like most others in our generation today. I could care less about keeping up with the Joneses.

On the other hand, I have missed out on meaningful trips and events because I didn’t want to spend money. But isn’t that what it’s there for? I could save up thousands even millions of dollars until I’m an old woman but I can’t go back in time and experience things I was too closefisted to participate in.

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While this post is meant to be light-hearted and funny, this has been a mental habit that’s hard to break. Having discussions with others from similar financial backgrounds confirms that this stems from something a little deeper than just being cheap.

I am now learning that I have what it takes to make money so it’s ok to spend it. The fear of going broke in itself has made me miserable; not actually being broke. When I was broke (er) life was simple. Now that I’ve gotten enough mullah to have fun I’m afraid to lose the opportunity. This is my long winded way of saying 🗣🗣 SPEND THAT MONEY HONEY because like the old people say “You can’t take it with you when yah leave.”

Amen to that.


What are some unnecessary cheap habits that you have? Share in the comments sections below and stay tuned for more posts. #LetsBuild





Constantly dealing with a feeling of guilt is a default emotion for many of those on the path out of poverty. Why me? Who am I to spend money on what I want but don’t need? Am I changing into someone my family can’t recognize?

ball and chain

Many of these questions play on a constant loop in the minds of those who are attempting to dig their way out of the struggle.

We live in a country where pulling yourself up by the “boot straps” is glorified but we never talk about what happens in the attempt or the success for those who do.Those who come from humble beginnings to become first generation college graduates, business owners, or successes in their ideal of a better life often internally wrestle with the psychological impacts of feeling unworthy of their achievements.


Living misunderstood isolates many individuals; as family or loved ones can’t relate to where they’re going and friends can’t relate to where they’ve been. I’ve dubbed this mindset Survivor’s remorse as it reminds me of an individual who is lucky to survive a tragedy but they feel guilty and undeserving of life. Many articles call it Survivor’s guilt. In the case of someone from a low income background they suffer from feeling undeserving of all the things they now have that others still go without. Let me explain.

I have this “friend” who has just gotten financially stable and is self sufficient. She enjoys traveling to see another friend out of town. Every visit is an adventure because she finally has a stable car and money to enjoy herself. While visiting said friend she has gotten exposed to different ways of life, foods, and activities she had never been able to afford before. Every visit lead her to thinking she should bring one of her family members with her one day because she felt guilty for experiencing such joy without them.

She feels guilty whenever she treats herself to dinner and shopping. She feels guilty at her job she loves and when she gets home to her sweet little apartment. She feels guilty when a new opportunity to move upward financially or otherwise presents itself.

Why me? Am I changing? What makes me different? They’re better than me, why not them?….

But the thing is we all have choices, paths, and people placed in our lives.Those entering into a phase outside of poverty or low income circumstances have a combination of all three working in their favor.

Good, knowledgeable choices about who you are and what you want lead you to the right path. On the path you may meet people who will give you better direction (mentor ship); or people who expose you to things outside of your normal upbringing. These new experiences all contribute to your eventual achievements.


You are determined enough to attempt the journey out of poverty.


So why feel guilty for putting in the work and getting the result you were working towards? Often, those who find themselves in a different position outside of friends and family feel undeserving because others they know work just as hard.

Young adults from low income households always feel they owe a debt to family and friends who may not have the financial stability or career upward mobility that they now possess. I struggle with this.

My hard work ethic comes from my mother and sisters. So how is it that I’m experiencing trips around the world but they are still in our hometown? Is it fair that I’m getting more and more financially stable while those I love still live paycheck to paycheck? So, I got into the habit of down playing my hard work. “Yea, God sure is blessing me way more than I deserve,” I’d say. And while every word of that is true I just inadvertently denied any helping hand in the blessing.


Opportunity presents itself. You can choose to seize it or not. Push through when it’s rough or hard; because faith without works (hard works) is dead. Can I get an Amen from the Deacon corner?! AMEN! God blesses you with opportunity and freedom of choice but it’s up to you to take those chances presented to you. You have to put in work in order to reap the benefits of your blessing.


Living misunderstood isolates many individuals as family or loved ones can’t relate to where they’re going and friends can’t relate to where they’ve been.


So I chose to go to college and chose to graduate because goodness knows I wanted to quit several times. I chose different paths outside the norm in my family. I discovered that I wanted a career more than a marriage or kids. I wanted to explore helping others in a different way than I had seen.

Every choice is then an ingredient added to your personal recipe for success. Whatever that success may look like. For my mother and sisters, being wonderful mothers was their desire. They’ve mastered that recipe.

Mine is a little different because there was no ready, tried n true recipe I could go off of in my attempt to build a career, alleviate inter-generational poverty, and help others in the community.  So in the process of navigating uncharted waters I discovered so many other possibilities that could help me accomplish goals. The guilt I feel stems from my misunderstanding of what success means for others in my family. We do not share the same definitions.


Although, it is worth pointing out that low income families would benefit from more financial stability. Young adults who are just  getting to a point where living paycheck to paycheck or stressing over bills is no longer the norm may feel guilt.This stems from being able to indulge and focus on other things in life. Knowing that you can indulge a little leave many feeling like a fraud because those still struggling don’t have the same luxury.

I feel you.

I wrote this blog because I realize that many others battle with themselves every day trying to find a comfortable balance of where they come from and where they want to go.

Desiring more for yourself doesn’t mean you’re rejecting your past but rather you see a different way of living that would bring YOU joy. You are determined enough to attempt the journey out of poverty.

It is hard to explain the complex emotions you feel to someone who doesn’t share your past experiences or the difficult transition. I offer this blog as a platform to share your stories below so that you can enjoy your life guilt free and happy.