Phone dry.

Lips dry.

DMs dry.

Dry. Dry. Dry.


While everyone is out having a “Hot Girl Summer” my room temperature summer only heats up when I step outside and burst into flames at the actual 104 temperature. I am in a DRY season but aside from fighting the urge to hump the legs of random cologne scented males; I’m actually having a pretty great time. My focus, creative connections, and self-discovery have been keeping me entertained. Sorry inner Blanche…you’re gonna have to find a way to cool off ole girl.


Maybe I’m partially to blame for this Dry season; It’s not as if I don’t have the standard two to three unanswered DMs and friend requests every female possesses. I’ve said before in Single F*** the Mingle that I’m not at a point where I’m ready to date yet I’m not sure I want to just play around either. I need a strong flirt partner who takes me on unique dates and keeps me laughing. The prospects currently don’t fit those requirements so I’m left filling my summer with things that add to my own growth and happiness.



Call it pent up energy (cause oh Chillay, I NEED) but my focus is making a comeback. The trauma and stress of 2018 flared my anxieties to unparallel amounts. The result was that I found it hard to focus on anything for more than 30 minutes, I often abandoned great ideas halfway through and became so unfocused that I couldn’t function in the smallest areas of my life.

Now, I am successfully juggling work, a master’s program, and blogging. Somebody give me my damn props because it has truly been a journey to gain this focus back if I ever really had it at all. Not having male distractions has allowed me to dive deep into other areas of my life that have needed my attention for some time. My mental health is only a piece of the pie. Areas like creativity, intellectual insights and spirituality have been FLOURISHING this summer. I walk around feeling like…



Creative Connections

The soil of this DRY Season has been surprisingly fertile ground for my creativity; from amazing blog posts and interactions with the Builders to planning events, offering innovative ideas…my creative synopsis are firing at an all-time high and I am loving every minute of it. With the mental space and time to dedicate to my passions, I’ve been able to produce on a level that I never have before. These creative ventures have led to the self-discovery that I am, without doubt, a creative being. This is something I once doubted. Being born into a family of artists in the literal sense (drawing, painting, cooking, braiding); I didn’t have traditional talents that were easily recognized. The more time I spend with myself, the more I discover just how creatively in-depth I am.


Unlimited Self Discovery

While nostalgically, reminiscing of Hot Girl Summer’s past I appreciate what they gave me in those moments. Amazing sex, great adventures and female liberation. At one point I thought I needed to have the kind of summer that’s expected for single, twenty-something women but this remixed version of “Hot Girl Summer” is giving me something different. Something I’ve needed for some time, growth.

I am being liberated in my creative and intellectual field like no other.  Granted the environment I need to truly become the very best version of myself. My focus is simple, me. Discovering every inch of what makes me amazing. ‘Cause let’s face it, even on the nights when I’m a little hormonal and lonely, I am still using my creative skills to take care of business. So, in the voice of the greatest Meg the Stallion that’s “Real Hot Girl Shit.”


Hey Builders! Tell me about Your Summer and Let’s Celebrate amazing Summers together!

By now you’ve probably been to countless cookouts and family gatherings since Memorial Day; but everyone knows that August is not only the hottest month in the summer, it’s also the month where navigating the cookout becomes a skill you need to learn.

Heat, mosquitoes, drunk uncles, bad ass little cousins, a myriad of personal questions and extra burnt hot links become a lot to deal with in 106 degree weather with no place to sit. You gave up your seat to Great Aunt Billy Mae who’s 106 and still talking smack. Luckily I’ve developed a guide to help steer you clear through to a cool shower and a plate of leftovers in your air-conditioned apartment.



1. Don’t make eye contact with the old aunties huddled in the kitchen; quickly give kisses and hugs and get the hell outta there!

2. Do kiss your oldest relative in the wheelchair and one arm hug the cousins; beware cologne.

3. Take a cold beverage to the grill cook from the rear so all the old uncles aren’t watching you walk away.

4. Check with your mom to see exactly how close you and the cute “cousin” are before eye-flirting begins.

5. Notice when big-cousin-can’t-understand-how-we’re-related starts bragging about your car; they are about to ask for something; just say it’s a rental and walk away.

6. NEVER take a swig of the uncles “drank” in the brown paper bag, you’ll die.


7. Remember MUTE RKELLY does not apply to the family cookout; don’t quote me.

8. Expect old neighborhood flings to stop by so make sure you’re dressed the part and have an inspiring story about your unemployment.

9. Don’t get carried away with giving your Lil bad ass cousins the water gun work, you’re an adult.

10. Give up your chair to your elder, you know there’s never enough seats.

11. Ask who made the potato salad.

12. Take deodorant and baby wipes, you’ll need them.

13. Eat before you get to the cookout. They said everyone will start eating when the food is ready around 4 p.m. which actually means 6 p.m.

14. Try to avoid throwing shade to Auntie-always-in-everyone-else-bidness-but-not-her-own-husband’s when she tells you you’re too old to not be married with kids and a house by now.

15. Always follow your favorite cousins to their old school car that has one door that doesn’t work; you’re bound to have a great conversation while getting lit.

16. Pray before you head to the club after the cookout with the cousins, Ray Ray n dem taking you to bullet hole central.

17. If you bring a friend of the opposite sex be prepared to be grilled by family about why you’re not dating or headed toward marriage.

18. If you bring a friend of the same-sex after not dating anyone for years be prepared for the awkward sermon given to “everyone” about what the Bible says while simultaneously fending off cousins who are trying to talk to them.

19. Enjoy beautiful weather with the one family you have this summer cookout and all to come!


Hey Builders! Help me finish this helpful guide by giving me a #20! Tell me about your cookout experiences this Summer ☀️